{"id":130,"date":"2014-05-30T07:15:35","date_gmt":"2014-05-30T13:15:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fareedguyot.com\/wp\/?page_id=130"},"modified":"2021-08-24T20:38:10","modified_gmt":"2021-08-25T02:38:10","slug":"area-couple-to-birth-organic-fair-trade-shade-grown-free-range-non-gmo-offspring","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/fareedguyot.com\/wp\/?page_id=130","title":{"rendered":"Area Couple to Birth Organic, Fair Trade, Shade-grown, Free Range, Non-GMO Offspring"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"cabbage-baby-Flipped\"<\/a>A Willy Street dwelling couple vows to birth the purest baby yet; free from crop-based foods funded by tyrannical International Monetary Fund policies and uncompromised by disingenuous carbon credit schemes.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a quest that could challenge the natural foods resources of their local co-op.<\/p>\n

Last week at their co-op, as they perused a recently configured \u201cwarehousey\u201d looking aisle, the pesca-curious couple was horrified at the baby food selections which they claimed showed a dangerous non-local hemispheric bias.<\/p>\n

\u201cLongitudinal preferences by our local grocers is an emerging problem,\u201d said expectant father Fareed Guyot. \u201cIf we feed these biased foods too early in our children\u2019s lives, it\u2019s just a slippery slope toward geographical culinary hatred when they grow older.\u201d<\/p>\n

This pure-baby quest may be thwarted shortly after it has begun as the soon-to-be parents found in a subsequent visit that their co-op\u2019s produce section lacks adequate infant-specific nutritional labeling.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey haven\u2019t had basil for over a week now,\u201d said mom-to-be Jamie Guyot. \u201cHow will I know if it\u2019s the right basil? My growing baby needs calcium and a proper sense of how to flavor and garnish foods.\u201d<\/p>\n

Having just consciously coupled last fall, the pair have made adjustments to accommodate the needs of their offspring, including a backyard garden that will be managed using only non-confrontational methods ensuring the most minimal impact on the foods it produces.<\/p>\n

After some online research and one donation to PETA (Kim Basinger Synod), approved fencing was installed to protect against local rabbit hordes which have disfigured previously planted chives.<\/p>\n

Family dynamics will also test the couple\u2019s neophyte parenting as their current cat children have not responded well during a recent family meeting called to discuss the new family member.<\/p>\n

\u201cBaby Guyot is not due until Thanksgiving so we have some time,\u201d Fareed said. \u201cBut there are a lot of decisions to be made such as nursery wall colors, where to purchase sweatshop-free onesies and whether we should start prenatal French or Mandarin lessons.\u201d<\/p>\n